Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in pink_zigzag's LiveJournal:

Saturday, May 1st, 2004
2:08 pm	sleaford! went out last night. . . well sort of. i saw an old mate on the train home. that was nice. and weird! then i met fish and his mate al, we got the film i need to watch for media (28 days later) then we went to luke's house and. . .listened to er, music! yeah thats what we did! then we went to fish's and put the film on, but had to meet someone, then we put the tent up and never got to watch the film. then we went to tesco and i bought food! yum yum! and then i went home and all was well. twas a weird night cos i didnt flirt with either of them and stuff. . . very unlike me! lol! today my mum keeps asking if im ok cos im being quiet. dunno whats up. just. . .the sky i guess! oh yeah! almost forgot! the friend i saw on the train knows doug!! i saw doug and said 'hello' then alistair was with him and i was like 'what?!?!?' and dougs obviously told alistair that we slept together cos he kept asking how well i knew doug etc. eek! Current Mood: lethargic Current Music: radio two. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 30th, 2004
11:21 am	tis me again oli text me. again! im not bothered, in fact im kinda happy about it. its just its confused me to the extremes. cos i wanted to be friends with him from the beginning and stuff. but he said no. but now he does! maybe cos he's got over me? maybe cos he wants me back? maybe cos he misses me? i dont know! but if it is that he wants me back, then im in the sh*t cos i will be making him think that i wan thim back too as im texting him and stuff! ahhhhh! tis mad mad mad! on a lighter note, I HAVE MY LEEDS FESTIVAL TICKET!!! yay! hopefully i will be able to get there and back etc but hazzah! Current Mood: confused Current Music: nothing (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 29th, 2004
11:36 am	darn ok, so i got into another conversation with dave all of yesterday, carrying off into the night. he was flirting majorly avec moi, but not. . .erm, not making specific, erm, things? he was not being too serious. and when i said should we meet up for a drink, he said if he was in the falcon and i popped in i could sit with him. so i text him and said does that mean that if it happens it does and u wont push it urself. he said yes, then i said something like: so you like me cos i like you and it makes you feel good but you dont like me enouhg to get to know me better and even if you did, you would never consider me anyway. nice of him to let me know! there i was, acting like a prick cos i thouhgt i may have an ickle chance but non! le wanker! :( *sighs* i got another text from oli. and i am thinking me and adam are no-no. he knows too much about moi! hehe! anyways. . . Current Mood: blah Current Music: funeral song-the rasmus (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 27th, 2004
2:14 pm	bonjour mon petite cabbage ok, hi. last week i was ill. it was so nasty. the wosrt thing was though, my mum was really nice to me. helped me dress, kept me warm, blah blah blha. but then i heard her talking about me to my dad late at night. things like 'she does nothing for herself' and 'when cara's ill the whole world revolves around her' and 'i cant wait till she lives on her own, like she'd be able to cope' i got a little upset. i thought she'd therefore be mardy the next morning with me but no. all fine and dandy. so i was a little freaked out and thought i'd dreamt what she said. (i have also had many nasty dreams thiese past few weeks. they scare me) then, when i was all well and good on. . . saturday she made me do all this crap. like do the washing up, the washing, my ironing, clean my already clean room, sew my broken top, change mine and my brothers sheets and stuff. just cos i did nothing all week as i was ill. not my fault. *sighs* c'est tres injuste! oui ou non? anyway, im looking forward to the next few weeks, the sun is out and im looking forward to getting on with the media and drama stuff! i went to see the rasmus last night! twas cool! i fancy dave and adam and i think they may like me a little. but obviously not enough to go out with me and stuff. got a text from oli. it was weird cos i was thinking bout him and get the text. hmmmmmmmm what else. . . i will leave you all in peace and huryy on. . .to do nothing in particular! Current Mood: happy Current Music: the voices in my head saying 'eat pie' (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 3rd, 2004
10:29 pm	fcuk you i thought i was gonna be having an ace time friday nite. but no. i knew as soon as no one had seen mel at college it was gonna be shit. i never did find out if she could come or not. but i guessed she couldnt due to her not being around. then i went to kats cos i didnt feel like dancing as was sad n stuff. watched tv, ate pizza, watched a film. rocking. i saw pictures of kat n laurie together n being all happy n stuff. . . i never get that. with my mates i mean. like pictures taken. they are always someone n someone else n me there too. came home. went to see elzie. found out kyle was snogging the face off a gurile! i wasnt upset or bothered but elzie n hollie didnt want to tell me-yet i told them i wasnt bothered! lol! silly ninny's! they had a gracios time n so did andy. apparently elzie n him couldn't keep their mouths off each other all night, but today they were a little. . . akward u might say! went to see doug. why i dont know-but i did, n even though i told him to fcuk off, all is well. went to work. one of the regulars came in n cos i didnt see him last week, he stayed a little longer n talked to me. i then got a call from him asking for my number *blushes* we may go for a drink! eek! i love my friends n the peole around me. they are nice to me n i guess they are there for me. but there is no frances in my life at college. i just get paranoid when getting close to someone (mate wise) n can easily get pissed off at them so i. . .dunno. but at the mo i keep getting mad at elzie. probably cos shes not with me anymore. i get pissed off at the fact that we dont know each others lives n stuff. whoa! if you read all i am impressed. but today im not interested in comments back. tisnt like i get alot anyway is it? lol kisses n stuff ps. loads of shit has gone on in the 'guy' department too! bollocks to it i say! :( Current Mood: gloomy Current Music: the crow soundtrack (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 2nd, 2004
10:50 am	its all about me ok, so i am a prick. i do talk about me most of the time. i do always go on about the guy i like or dont like or want or hate or whatever. i like going out for drinks with guys. i dont get off with them and i dont sex them and i dont lead them on i dont think. . .do i? oh i dont know and i dont care. i lose mates over this all the time. i fall out with my mum constantly cos im a slag. and she loves to tell me so. she always turns it around. like yesterday-i was so upset cos i thought id fallen out with elz, told mum n she made it out to be that it was my fault and no wonder elz fell out/got pissed off at me. im this big-headed, cocky, flirtatious slag who leads guys on and pisses every other fcuker off. so i want to apologise for my behaviour. sorry Current Mood: numb Current Music: afi (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 29th, 2004
9:58 am	the weekend. ok, so kurt does like me, in fact he thinks im hot! (boo-yeah!) but he's 'confused' and doesnt want a gf, just wants alittle fun. which to me seems like a pretty normal thing to feel-seeing as he's a teenage n you dont wanna get settled n stuff. but if we do have 'fun' that means im easy right? n im not. so maybe we'l met for a drink or summat n see how it goes. i text dave on sat too. he says his love life is pretty mixed up. he wants a girl he can call his own, blah blah blah. n kate (or katie-i forget which) dont get it. but by sunday she does n he is all happy. yippee! i said i got doug's number didnt i? well i did text him and he's been texting me all weekend. whoa! im shocked to the core! he is so rude! he's 25 n he likes me! jesus! another guy! where are all the girls? so, the list of dudes whom like me (they dont know me well enough yet-hehe) lee matt kurt (kyle???) doug dan (mull???) i got a text from dan and am still meeting him. i may meet with doug and kurt this wek too. then i can choose. grrrr! i am totally flattered by all this y'know, but i feel like a slut-which truely isn't a nice feeling. :( right, will do some work type thing now (an essay) and it will all be joyous! :S ps. elzie is 100% ill. she is manic depressive. it makes me so sad to see i cant help her. :( Current Mood: flattered, confused, worried Current Music: the rasmus (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 27th, 2004
10:16 am	HA HA HA! she wa drunk! ok, so elzie did get rat-arsed last night, which was indeed joyous! hehe! she now feels v. v embarrassed now! the fact that she proclaimed her love for simon! (first it was owen, now its simon-will it ever end hehehe!) i saw kylie-bon kissed him once n didnt see him again! i also saw a dud elzie works with called doug! ah-he got me a drink and i got his number (NOT IN THAT KINDA WAY!) but i text him n he texted back! tis all groovy. there is way more shit to say. . .like kaylee getting drunk on coke! hehe! (she dont like the taste of alcohol) we came out the club n she was 'drunk drunk drunk' hehe! mad mad mad! so. . . bye! Current Mood: naughty Current Music: elzie blabbing (Comment on this)
Friday, March 26th, 2004
10:33 am	last night. . . hehe! i saw elzie's new hair cut today! when i first saw it i was like 'whoa' it looked so different. but i really like it now! i can run my hands through it without getting caught in it all! it so soft n lovely. . .*sighs* ok, im screwed. in the guy department. everyone is like 'why is it such a bad thing' im like 'cos i dunno who to choose!!' so there's kyle, matt, dan, mull, lee, and possibly kurt. so im 'seeing' kyle, but am allowed to get off with other peeps, i am going for a drink with dan next tuesday, my ex lee has asked out for cinema and/or dinner, matt has asked me out for a drink, mull was flirting and got upset when i wouldn't kiss him goodbye (hello! duno whats going on jus yet) and i dunno whats going on with kurt. i kinda wanna know soon cos then i know if i have a chance and am in the picture with him. right, im gonna be honest. i like kyle n i guess i do fancy him, but i think he's more matey. i like matt, could possibly fancy him, but i dunno him well enough to say friend or foe. . . i like dan, dunno him too well, thats why im going for a drink avec him. i like mull-he's funny and charming and sorta my kinda guy, but he's jus split up with my mate and is gonna be on the rebound so. . .and he's mates with dan!! i dont like lee. ok-i like him-as a mate, but he just dont seem to get the picture!! there will never be an 'us' again! i loved u once and thats enough! thankyouplease! i like kurt. i know i shouldnt cos he dont like me no more (or at least i dont think he does) but i do. i cant help that. but i dunno how to get him to answer the question. iv text him a few times, but i got nowt back. i guess i should just leave it. . . phew! i fell a little better now. maybe iv bored you cos i'd bore myself but hey! life goes on dont it? ha ha ha ha ha! siobhan fell off her chair last night! it was so funny! hehe! poor her though. . .she hurt her back! Current Mood: very very confused! Current Music: silverchair (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 25th, 2004
3:03 pm	WHAT TO DO? WHAT T DO? ok, so me n kurt are like. . . a no-no now i am thinking. which sucks hugely. *humph* but y'know these things happen. . .but why do i still like him?!? n kyle? bless him, i havent spoke to him all week. miss that rocking dude!! but im going for a little drink with dan soon! am looking forward to it! *giggles* we put up the cast list for our media film! am so looking forward to getting it all started and stuff! hehe! the guys we've picked are great. . .so far! and our drama piece is really kicking off so.. .maybe im getting stuff sorted! yippee! *smiles* hugs n kisses to all my fans out there! i love u all! Current Mood: mischievous Current Music: the tap tap tap of computer keys. . . (Comment on this)
Monday, March 22nd, 2004
8:41 pm	babysitting ok, so as the subject title says-im babysitting! tis a little bit joyous, but its £15 under my belt! and im allowed on the net! which rocks a little! i still dunno what to do about kurt n kyle. i am v. annoyed at myself cos i hadnt really got the drama stuff sorted! eek! in fact, i am so behind! there is way too much stuff our group should of done! and im not blaming them guys cos its as much my fault as it is theres! but i guess im gonna have to work on it loads! i am looking forward to going out on thursday. cock yer leg are playing at the falcon (kurts band) and i was gonna go with kirsty cos it's her bday but shes with her mates, so it was gonna be elzie n me but i dont think she'lbe able to come. so it may be me n kat?? maybe laurie!!! but it would be funky if i could go with elzie n mel cos i get on with them a little better than laurie n kat! no offense to them guys thou! i went into the falcon today as i had a little while beore my clas and even before i went in, i knew oli was gonna be working. he was. sh*t. i kinda waved n said hi but he ignored me n looked dead upset. i hung out quietly but i knew he was watching me. i felt so awkward n stuff. every time someone made a joke, i laughed a little too loud1 how stupid n immature is that? but he looked so upset n i felt guilty all over again! *sighs* he tells me he wants to see my face in the falcon again, yet is all moody when i go it! i dont get it! Current Mood: confused Current Music: the tv downstairs (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 20th, 2004
10:02 am	summat good *yay* benj is coming to see me! am so happy1 im working tonight, then babysitting when i get home, then working tomorrow night, then babysitting on monday, and i worked last night! so im in the money! *yay* *sighs* im a nark-head. i think i shall do some college work as im very behind. . .a little bit anyway Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: again. . .NOTHING (Comment on this)
Friday, March 19th, 2004
10:33 pm	ok. . .jeez! i think iv annoyed kurt even thou iv seen him only a few times! ARGH! mongoose me! i also am upst, for many reasons. one-mel went to a funeral n i know funerals suck, so i feel upset for her. love u mel. two-i just found out my mate from lancashire is very depressed and there is nothing i can do to help him! i want to see him, hang out, tell him its gonna be alright. comfort him, eat ice cream, something! anything! three-i thought i had problems, but i cant have. i just cant! i cant let myself-so if i ignore them these 'problems' will disapper into thin air. . . four-i cant stop being paranoid. its really getting irritating, but i cant. i know people dont like me. i know it. never did i get paranoid at school. . .but college is different. it a different environment and not one person wants me for me. like benj did. or hannah. or elzie. maybe what im tring to say is, i miss my best friends. y'know? the ones where they dont judge u, have exactly the same sense of humour, let u be silly without dissmissing it, let u obsess over whatever u wanna obsess over. i dont got that. . .but then i dont think any college students got that. do they? adious and goodnight. Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: again the sound of. . ..nothing (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 17th, 2004
2:20 pm	blah blah blah ok, so my last entry was indeed very. . .emotional you could say1 juat wanting to apologise! not that there's anyone to apologise too! hehe! im at clooege and in a bit of a pickle. i like this dude called kurt very muchy but i think im 'seeing' kyle. . . dunno who to choose! this has not happened to me since like. . .year ten!! so. . . what to do what to do? Current Mood: indecisive Current Music: mel tapping away on her computer (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 15th, 2004
8:06 pm	god i must be so STUPID ok, so on fiday i went out avec mel n debbee! was grooving on the ole dance floor of cubes! oli came n talked to me. . . hated that so much. why why why am i such a b*tch? why do i always have to hurt people? why cant i just. . . oh i dunno, no use trying to explain. im nasty so there! oh! will have to get off the fcuking net cos my parents suck so fcuking much. got paranoid as hell at battle of the bands on sat. ended up fancing another dude-gREAt. and a dude likes me (which i dont believe). and i was such a b*tch to all the other media peeps-then apparently im an emotional wreck n blah blah blah. theres nothing wrong with me! i hurt some people. . .but doesnt everyone? so up urs mate! lol! Current Mood: confused Current Music: david bowie (Comment on this)
Friday, March 12th, 2004
2:05 pm	optional ok, so im in college bored outtta my skull, no one's really read what ive put but hey-ho-hum! hehe! im supposed to be in english, but iv talked stuff throuhg avec mon parents and they realise that id rather concentrate on media n drama cos i prefer them. . .*breath* but i cant quit english as i need the hours for my free train pass. . . u just canna win can ya? ok-question, what is the significance of cattle??? Current Mood: baffled Current Music: just the computer buzzing away (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 11th, 2004
9:46 pm	erm. . . ok, iv jus gone onto my face party account n im like 'whoa' do people wanna talk to me or what? hehe! *giggles like mad* tis v. strange thou. . i must get some pics on my comp of me as i dont know how many peeps wanna see my ugly mug-but they do! lol! so i will get my ass in gear n get some wonderful pics of me-as i am now (well not now literally but. . .y'know what i mean) ps. have no idea if kylie-bon-freece is still into me. . . hmmmmm Current Mood: okay Current Music: my little sister crying. . .*sighs* (Comment on this)
4:03 pm	purple moustache so today im still in alot of pain-what with trapping my thumb in a car door on monday! doh! so i still cant write fcuk all but i can type stuff! gee-arent i groovy? anyway. . . sitiing around not doing alot, just hanging with my ickle mate mel. . .nothing important gone on-oh apart from me getting in contact with an old school friend! its ace! Current Mood: blah Current Music: less than jake (2 Comments |Comment on this)